Re: Tired

It's always over before it really begins.

Shut Up I Am Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings

It's over. And I made it so.

Why am I stuck on the past where there is someone so wonderful right in front of me. You were my comfort. You were comfortable.

You act like this doesn't hurt you, and I doubt that it is. We'll never talk about it. But I hope that one morning you wake up to find your heart ripping a little at the seams. You will never understand what you put me through.

So hello heart. I remember you now.
Hello third year. You have a chance to become something memorable.
Hello fear.
Hello happiness.
Hello new person in my life.
Hello self.

Nothing will ever replace what was there - I'll always feel the same.
I still love you but it's time to go.

In A Heartbeat

There are things in my life that will always remind me of certain people. Songs, movies, words, restaurants, streets, photographs, moments. When a person becomes distant from you these items become almost sacred.

There are songs I'm afraid to hear because I don't want to associate them with any other moment. There are movies I can't watch. I want to be curled up and safe again.

I believe a part of the healing process is to revisit these places. Themes. Last semested I found myself walking past a restaurant with a coffee in hand, trying to disassociate with it. Push it away. Find a new memory. And now I almost force myself to listen to those songs and watch those movies and take away the sacredness of those moments.

If it's meant to be it will be again? My whole outlook is such a question mark right now.

I finally sorted out my school schedule and it seems like it will be a good semester. I got into the history class I wanted, I'm in the process of making two books and I will have three gallery shows this year.

Trip to Scotland seems to have failed. Trip to Yukon seems to have potential.

I'm trying not to take everything so personal.