Anthems For A 20 Year Old Girl

"If you can't find one of them, look for the other and they are sure to be together."

True statement spilled from the lips of an intoxicated friend in the midst of a house get together. All the while I'm pulling smoke into my lungs and smiling underneath it all, feeling like at last I'm breathing you in again through someone else's point of view.

Finding my way home again. Curled up in sleep, far from escaping what this year has brought me. I can feel my arm around you, my fingers visualize the fibers in your coat and you are no longer pushing me away. But I wake up again and it takes moments for it all to become clear that this never happened.

I don't know how to feel anymore. I don't even know how this feels. One day we are so close, teasing and pulling at each other. And then there are days where I'm sure you will turn your back and walk away.

Used To Be One Of The Rotten Ones And I Liked You For That