Love Me or Hate Me

I feel very much like my fish right now. Chasing each other around their tank, not remembering where they started and then staring at me for answers.

I've never felt so hopeful and so crushed at the same time.

I'm scared that we'll never find each other again. I'm scared that I don't know the ending.

I'm afraid that if this all disintegrates I will never find another moment like we had.

It could happen again. No promises.

I'm patiently impatient and trying so hard to be understanding and venting my right to be furious. Then feeling free and empowered. Then a total wreck curled up on my floor alone sobbing like a stupid girl.