For A Lifetime

The last week has been hectic. I tried to calm myself down with yoga two nights this week. I tried pumping myself up with two concerts this week. My mind still feels restless and wanders somewhere far away. Time goes so slow.

Thursday was spent working then driving around the city with Cory and Brandon. Getting lost on the way to the Kool Haus and seeing a selection of people dressed as pirates down the Queens Quay. Dillinger was incredible as always, with their vocalist singing Justin Timberlake and threatening to stalk 17 year old boys. AFI spent what I saw of their set posing and 're-swooshing' their hair. Even better was Cory's impression of Davey Havok. Street meat afterwards with the sad hot dog vendor selling his wares 'hot dogs, sausage.... sausage hot dog'. A girl puking on the side of the road. Boys with their ears pressed up against the side of the building to catch the last few songs of AFI's set. Back to the car. The security bar was down and Brandon had to lift it while we snuck the car underneath and drove back out onto the streets. Drive home spent listening to screaming and watching the lights flash by and the homesickness for the city returning to my gut.

Misery Signals was wonderful as well. Overall it was one of the best nights I have had in awhile. I met up with Cory and we hit up the subway to the show. We caught the end of The Gorgeous and thankfully all of Misery Signals. Apparently the drummer from Fall Out Boy was there. But who knows because I didn't see him with my own eyes. After Jess O, Mike, Brandon, Cory and myself scoured the city for a free parking spot in order to catch the parking lot Alexisonfire show. One parallel parking job by Jess later we were on our way. That show was awesome and their new songs sound great. Thai food, good weather, good conversation and a subway ride to Finch. Driving home blasting Irony Is A Dead Scene. Hitting an already dead skunk with the Jetta (which still smells) and making me feel physically sick. Cory saying 'I think you popped it' didn't help. Haha.

I just want to enjoy this summer. More time spent like last night just enjoying the company and spontaneous experiences. I miss the city because it gives me this false hope that anything is possible.

So wait up I’m not sleeping alone again tonight
There’s so much to dream about, there must be more to my life

I hate my job. Smiling and happy when I really feel cynical and angry underneath it all. Pushing boxes of frozen food at people who live the same lives day in and day out. I pray I don't become like them. Work 9-5, home and quick dinner for the kids. Wash dishes and sleep. Over and over.

I’m always wishing, I’m always wishing too late
For things to come my way
It always ends up the same

My youth is slipping, my youth is slipping away
Safe in monotony, so safe, day after day

I hate this feeling of counting down the days.

Your signal fades away and all I’m left with is noise

We're not even half way there. My head hurts. Bed awaits for another day of meat products and 'you get four shrimp skewers in a box'.